Friday, September 23, 2011

Seven-Day Itch

Not in an itchy'n'scratchy sense, but I think I hit that first humpty-bump of stir-craziness today. Just wishing to be anywhere but here, cooped up like a caged bird singin' 'bout flyin'. But then again, I know full well that here is where I need to be.

Of course, I have been gearing myself to go thru whatever it takes, come hell, come highwater. Guess I can count my lucky stars as I'm not in any pain or discomfort. Just kind of felt like purgatory today. The Waiting Place, as Dr Seuss would say. Neither here, nor there. Just impatient.

The docs, I think, sensed this, after a morning and then a midday chemo, and just let me out to roam free over to the cafe and get some real food. Gonna take in and love every minute. Now digging a lovely cafe latte on a sunny, late afternoon. Oh, the simple pleasures. Precious.

Had a good talk today with the head doc of the Oncology dept, who really helped allay the worries I was having this morning. Heck, been harboring and releasing and bck and forth for years, for that matter. He confirmed what I've known and tried to push off all these years: The donor transplant, come what may, is my best shot at getting off this crazy boat ride for a long, long time. Most importantly for me, he said, "Don't worry, we're taking a well-proven path, you're young, you're strong, you're positive, and, together, we're going to get you through just fine." [Reassuring smile] Thank you, Prof. Serve. I really needed to hear that today.

Sorry to bore y'all and repeat myself, but he then laid out for me again the road map: First thing, as I noted in last post, we need to break up the boat for multiple points of attack. A few more days (til Monday, I think) of high-dose. So far, I really am taking it well. Then, maybe a few weeks home to recoop, then a CT scan to check size. (So if not a ray of itchy-free freedom on the horizon, at least a big fat carrot at my nose tip: seeing Sammy, being home, playing my drums, in the Green Room. My place. My bed. Even my own homely home cooking. Actually, even looking forward to taking care of all the paperwork I'm behind on.) Then, rinse and repeat high-dose, or maybe get a dose of my own stem cells (one of 3 servings we have in reserve). Whatever it takes, I'm game.

So after the morning lull, then talk with the doc, picking myself up has been today's task. The coffee kick now is helping, too. As soon will a nice hot dinner here at the cafe. (Update: dinner was great. Last few sips of coffee now before I mosy on back to the corral. Nice full tummy to get me thru the eve, and I hope they'll give me a few hours and make it a late eve chemo.)

I guess, looking back on today, couple of other little highlights. Little things. I started teaching one of the nurses how to juggle (just like you taught me, Jon). He's picking it up pretty quickly. Next lesson tomorrow. Also, finally picked up the drumsticks and daddled a bit (practicing my paradiddles, Stanley, and getting better, groove is flowing). Music is a healer, even if it's just keeping a groove.

That'll be my motto for tomorrow: Keep up the groove. Little bit of drumming, little bit of guitar, and a whole lotta love.

Thanks for your thoughts and good vibes. It's a beautiful day, slowly easing into a lovely eve, and I'm chalking it up to the day I get over the itch, and yet another day down along the sure, straight path to recovery.

Sure enough, again today, the dude abides.