Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A belated thanks for your encouraging words and birthday greetings. More on that in a moment, but first to the business side of the house.

I finished round 2 on Oct 22. Tomorrow I'm in for a CAT scan to determine whether we've reached the goal of shrinking that bastard of an abdominal tumor (BOAT, for short) down to or below the magic 2 cm. So keep your fingers particularly crossed for me tomorrow -- that them there boat is a'sinkin'.

I've taken to the euphemistic, nautical acronym, by the way, a.) as a mental manifestation to visualize each and every last one of them cells being chemo-torpedoed to Valhalla; b.) so as to grant neither conscious energy nor subconscious credence to the word 'tumor,' which is just so darn negative anyway; and c.) because 'bastard' is not a nice word, unless used in the context of a John Jakes novel and subsequent TV mini-series.

And in my own, private mini-series, here's how the story could unfold after tomorrow's results are in:

1.) <2cm boat: means that the current chemo did the trick. Collect 200 transplant dollars, proceed to KMT (KnockenMark [bone marrow] Transplant center) within a matter of weeks. Of 5 potential donors, one made the shortlist and is in for further testing to ensure that his stem cells are an optimal match. Meanwhile, a backup search continues in the U.S./European donor pool.

2.) <4cm: means this current chemo is working, and will be given round 3 and potentially 4 to finish the job. Then proceed to KMT.

3.) >4cm: Oh, shit. Back to the medical drawing board and new rounds of new chemicals.

I've got 99 marbles on 1.); one on 2.) for backup.

As for my birthday, again, I really appreciated your messages. It was indeed an enjoyable, relaxed, worry-free day. Only one gift on my wish list this year and that's years on years of the Greatest Gift.

But of all the presents, the most prized is a painting Sammy made for me (see photos section). It's a meerkat (German: Erdmaennchen). In early October, she had asked me what my favorite animal is and my 2 fave colors. Then, in her next painting course, she fancied up this perky painting. She had been eagerly awaiting my birthday to be able to present it to me. It now hangs above my desk and I just can't help but smile every time I see it.

Why I'm fond of meerkats? They're ingenious, social creatures. They watch out for one another; one, two or three are always standing guard while the others eat, sleep, wash dishes, fold laundry, etc. And when confronted by a dangerous foe, they stack themselves up in a pyramid so as to appear a single, huge, fearsome meerkat. And I firmly believe that they very well might have assumed our lot as shepherds of the earth, had not their first run-in with a human coincided with the invention of bowling.

Following this unfortunate twist of meerkat fate (or, stroke of luck for suburbia, depending on how you see it) they packed their meerkat bags and moved from Beverly, taking to the deserts, where for ages they have found strength in numbers and numerous ways to thrive in the rough conditions.

Also why I dig meerkats, I love the desert. I grew up in one. At times, my mind is one. During college, I took many a weekend trip with many a good friend to many a good desert. We would extract the R&R of two-weeks vacation from each two-day excursion. At first glance, a desert looks like lifeless desolation. But the closer you look you find life, beauty, peace. Oh, yeah, and scorpions and rattlesnakes. But these unpleasantries, too, are part of life.

If there's anything to that Hinduism thing, I'll someday, ages or eons from now, return in the form of a meerkat. I'll be known as Esiason, will be the tribe's scribe and, for seven consecutive seasons, starting quarterback. Thereafter, I'll be a color commentator on meerkat proceedings and co-host at halftime shows.

But enough about meerkats. More on them in an upcoming feature film, I am told.

I've been neglect on posting, so include below a few entries for posterity's sake. Someday, when this is all behind me and I'm feeling down about one of life's little crises, thinking how this or that situation sucks, I'll be able to put it into perspective, looking back to a situation that truly sucked and the sporadically documented simple things and stupid musings that kept me chipper.

Rock the boat, baby